Your Opinion...

https://www.detroitnews.com/story/opinion/2018/09/10/black-community-must-foster-traditional-marriage/1211299002/

Are You OK My Sister?

https://www.popsugar.com/news/How-Black-Women-Discriminated-Against-2018-45226981

Public Speaking Success

https://www.businessinsider.com/toastmasters-public-speaking-championship-ramona-smith-2018-8

Trent Shelton - Where is your focus? (Angels Landing)

Irma Givens: Time's Up for Sexual Assault!

I felt compelled to write this after reading many comments on Bill Cosby's verdict:

It does not matter who you are, what color you are, the title behind or in front of your name, the job you hold, the business you own, the number of friends you have, who your mama was, who your daddy is, where you live, the balance in your bank account, who you know, what favors you've done, what your address is, what your wardrobe looks like, or what you drive, you have no right to drug anyone, at anytime, under any circumstances, to have sex with them, PERIOD. Wake up people!!!

Healthy Snacks!

http://www.snacknation.com/blog/guide/healthy-snacks/

If Not Now...When?

If Not Now… When?
By Christine Kloser

Stuck like a bird in a cage.
Infinite potential, wings of glory.
Beauty to bestow, blessings to bring.

But a voice that says,
Conditions aren’t perfect… yet.
It’s not safe… yet.
It’s not time… yet.
I can’t fly… yet.

Believe that voice of fear?
Or believe the truth.

You’re ready when you CHOOSE to be.
Conditions will never be “perfect” (and that’s OK).
Support makes it SAFE.
It’s time when you SAY “It’s Time!”

Here’s to the voice of the TRUE you.
The ONE who has been called,
To liberate your message,
And fulfill your soul’s purpose.

Not someday.
Not when it’s convenient.
Not when it’s easy and no risk is involved.

Instead…
This day can be THE day.
The day you say YES.
To you.
To your message.
To your life.
To your soul.
To being who you were BORN to be.

Because…
If not now, when?
The choice is yours.

What's Your Calling &Will You Answer?

What's Your Calling & Will You Answer

By Irma Givens

          I have had the fortunate opportunity to talk to many people about their passion, purpose, and calling. Many are still in search of theirs and seem to struggle with the uncertainty of when they'll know what it is.  I use to try to explain it in a long drawn out fashion, but recently, I was in the audience as Oprah described it as the whisper that has been there all along. YES, that's it! I used to refer to it as the constant tapping on my shoulder.  I literally felt like a gentle tapping on my shoulder followed by the thought of that thing that I was born to do.  The amazing thing is no matter how far I drifted from my purpose/calling I would always feel that tapping again.

          What is it that has been whispering or tapping on your shoulder?  Have you been able to simply ignore it?  I never was able to ignore it because I believe the tapping gets louder, over time, the more you ignore it.  In the beginning God gives us subtle reminders that he has given us a gift and would like for us to use it.  Then we ignore those reminders for one reason or another, but he is extremely persistent.  He will not leave us alone. He continues to remind us and if we continue to ignore him he will create a situation that will stop us in our tracks.  This situation will cause you to take a seat, think, regroup, scratch our heads, shed tears and pause for extended periods of time.

          For some of us we hear the whisper early on and try to follow it, but when it doesn’t work out as we thought it should the first time, we become frustrated.  Frustration is not a reason to give up on your calling. Keep in mind that it may not have been your time then.  Perhaps, you needed additional preparation.  Continue trying that thing until you get it done. All we need we already have.  He has equipped us to do what he has called us to do.    

          Are you stuck in a job, marriage, relationship, city, home, etc. that is no longer fulfilling for you? Ask yourself some tough questions and listen to that whisper for guidance.  What is it that you love to do?  What is it that you’re really good at?  Figure out how to turn that into service to others and you will be well on your way. Do you think that college majors are holding some people back from their true calling?  A large number of people are unable to secure employment in their chosen major but have no idea how they can have a meaningful career outside of that major.  Its true folks, often times the path that we took was intended for us to learn some specific lessons.  However, it may not be the path you were intended to stay on.  Keep moving…life’s a journey!

          I would love to hear your thoughts and opinions on this subject. Feel free to comment below. To inquire about events that I host or to book me for your next event, please email me at: DaughtersofDetroit@gmail.com or call 313-731-2464.

Take a Hard Look in the Mirror

http://m.lollydaskal.com/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.lollydaskal.com%2Fleadership%2Ftake-a-hard-look-in-the-mirror%2F%3Futm_source%3Dfeedburner%26utm_medium%3Dfeed%26utm_campaign%3DFeed%253A%2BLollyDaskal%2B%2528Lolly%2BDaskal%2529&dm_redirected=true#2938

Michelle Persad: Like Mother, Like Daughter?

Michelle Persad: Like Mother, Like Daughter?

Dementia: a public health priority | Alzheimer's Disease International

Dementia: a public health priority | Alzheimer's Disease International

Something about Irma

Your favorite escape from reality: Sitting near the ocean

One thing you would change about the world: Erase homelessness, hunger & hatred

What do you dislike about your appearance? My bald spot

The worse idea you ever had: To stay in a dead relationship

What do you really believe? I believe that I can leave the world a better place

Your favorite animal: Dogs

Your favorite food: Cornbread dressing & turkey (I’m getting hungry! J)

Your favorite form of exercise: Speed walking

Least favorite food: Okra

Pet peeve: Wasting time or tardiness

Favorite sport: Drag racing followed by basketball & football

Something that causes you to walk away: Negative people

Hobbies:  Gardening, reading, writing, decorating, landscaping, traveling & photography

Santa's Undies Might Be in a Bunch, But He's Jolly

Santa's Undies Might Be in a Bunch, But He's Jolly

By Irma Givens

The stats prove that the number of people struggling with depression, during the holiday season, is extremely high.  Could it be the result of family members who have died before us, the cost of the holidays and the economy or perhaps it's our expectation of what it felt like as a child.  The answer could be one, some or all of those mentioned.  As children, it's the best time of the year.  The shopping is not our duty, paying the bills is not our responsibility but the magic of it all belongs to every child leading up to that special moment on the morning of December 25th each and every year.  Well, as adults it plays out a little differently.

Once you become an adult, the magic somehow starts to fade.  Your focus is no longer on the jolly guy in the big red suit for you've now met him.  You understand the story behind it all and for many you wish to simply put Christ back into Christmas and dismiss all the hassle and headache of shopping, wrapping and eventually paying for gifts.  Once you reach a certain maturity you begin to understand there are some things that are far more important than material goods.

During down economic times, especially, people are forced to make some sacrifices and a large number of consumers are still spending more than they can afford only to please everyone on Christmas day.  The children would be disappointed not to receive gifts.  However, these "grown folks" need to step up and say this year we cannot do what we have done so many years before.  We need to come up with a new way to express our love and gratitude this year.  Who knows you might just be starting a new family tradition among the adults in the family.

Just like Santa, in the photo above, check your pockets and if the only thing you feel are your undies bunched in your rear, straighten them out, smile and be jolly...this too shall pass!  Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and yours!  May the holiday season be filled with peace, love, happiness and prosperity. Don't let anyone or anything take the joy out of the season.

What Makes Us Help, When It Hurts?

What Makes Us Help, When It Hurts?

by Irma Givens

             

If you continue to lie there, you will continue to be walked on.

           We tell ourselves it is a new day and I will not continue to help those who continue to hurt and disappoint me.  Soon we find ourselves right back there helping them again and again.  The question we need to answer is what makes me continue to help, when it hurts so much. 

            How many times have you found yourself in this position?  Knowing that you are a helper and you have a burning desire to help others.  However, the same selected few seem to hurt you over and over again.  Could it be the satisfaction that we get from helping, the love and attachment we have to this person or these people or is it that we make ourselves believe that this time will be different?  Whatever it is, we need to get to the bottom of it so that change can take place.

            The first thing that we must accept is that we can’t change anyone other than ourselves.  The next thing is that others will only change when they have a sincere desire and the will power to make those changes.  The third thing, if we keep doing the same thing, we will keep getting the same thing.

            We are the common denominator, the enabler and ultimately we are the only ones that have the power to change the situation.  We have always being the doers, even when we said oh I’m not doing this again.  We continue to be sucked into helping one more time.  We know the outcome before we step into it, yet we step on in anyhow. 

            To those looking in from the outside, we are being fools because we continue to allow them to take advantage of us.  Your very kind nature has become a weakness as it relates to these relationships in your life.  As you cry through another painful experience, another point of disappointment, you somehow think why do they keep treating me this way? What am I doing wrong? Why can’t they love me as much as I love them? They just don’t care about me or how I feel!

            Those feelings are real and some of them valid.  However, we must focus on the “I” questions taking responsibility for our part in all this.  Why do “I” keep allowing this to happen? What is it that “I” need to do to change it? Do “I” need to discontinue this relationship? Can “I” help in a way that will not cause me pain & disappointment? Can “I” love and support them in another way? What can “I” do to make me feel whole? Can “I” forgive and move forward? Am “I” an enabler?

            Once you begin to focus on you, you begin to feel better and see things a little differently.  Rather than simply placing the blame, you are taking responsibility for your actions which will empower you to make the necessary changes.  Perhaps this has been happening to you for years, the difference is now you are fully aware of it, empowered to change it and you can own it.  Take the steps needed to heal your hurt.  You may fear what will happen to our relationship.  It’s ok, look at what’s happening in your relationship now.  Everybody was not intended to be with you every step of your journey.  Some folks have reserved seats on another flight and during a layover, such as this one right here; they will board a different plane.

            Take care of yourself, first! When others do not value you for who you are and the contributions that you make in their lives, perhaps you need to re-think the value of the relationship.  Keeping in mind this goes for all relationships.  Many times we allow our family members to get away with everything and we justify it by saying they are family.  No, family needs to honor, respect, love and care for one another too.  Family is not a free pass to treat you like crap! 

What Gets You Fired Up...

www.IrmaGivens.com

What Gets You Fired Up In All Cylinders?

By Irma Givens

     Today I am totally fired up and ready to get it done, my purpose that is.  My first social media post of the day read, "Good morning! No matter which side of the bed you woke up on, it does NOT matter. You are equipped with everything you need to serve a greater purpose. Hold your head high, put your armor on, set your eyes on victory, block distractions, dodge negativity, aim high & keep marching! Let's get it done!!!"

     I had to ask myself a number of times, OK more than a small number of times, what is it that gets me all fired up.  Initially, I had all these random and even petty answers that really did not answer the question.  So, I kept asking and kept searching.  I evaluated what things I liked, which ones I really liked and noted those that I loved.  Soon I was able, not only to put my finger on what I was passionate about but, I was able to tell others.

     There is something that just makes you smile brighter, walk taller, laugh louder, jump higher and want to sing and dance in the aisles.  That something, no matter what it is for you is the something that you need to be doing.  Even if only part-time initially that's a great place to start.  You might be asking yourself, how do I do that.  Well, perhaps the first step is to find someone who is doing that thing that you have a desire to do and volunteer, seek that individual as a mentor and gain as much knowledge as you possibly can about it. 

     Don't hesitate, begin seeking your passion and your purpose today.  Time wasted cannot be regained.  Besides don't you want to start doing what you love right away?  I know from experience there is no greater feeling than doing what you love and living life on purpose with passion.  It's a freedom like none other.  So, I urge you to put down this article and get started now.  Here's to you living your life on purpose!!

Living On Purpose with Irma Givens 10/27 by Addie Lee | Blog Talk Radio

Living On Purpose with Irma Givens 10/27 by Addie Lee | Blog Talk Radio

Where You Stand Says It All

Where You Stand Says It All

By Irma Givens

Once you have a thorough understanding of where you are in your journey, then & only then can you map your way to your destination.  Imagine, if you will, you standing on a two-lane, dark road in the middle of nowhere & your destination is Tomball, Texas.  How in the world will you get there if you have no idea where you stand? Food for Thought ~ Irma Givens

I've found myself at a crossroad many times in my life.  That moment when you really don't know whether to go left or right.  The fear of the unknown is standing there starring you in the face and you freeze in your tracks.  It's during those moments that I've had to be still & quiet, reflect on my journey and be responsible for the roads I've taken to this point.  It's easy to blame those around us and make excuses but the truth is the choices we make take us in specific directions and when we get to the crossroad, it's the opportunity for a self-check.  A time to evaluate where we've been, where we are and the choices that got us here.  Shake it off and decide where you want to go from here.

Once you know where you want to be (destination), you can decide which road will get you there.  Don't spend time worrying about the unknowns.  Life is filled with risks, options, winding roads, dirt roads, freeways and U-turns.  Take a deep breath, relax, say a prayer and take a leap of faith.

"Keep in mind, no matter where you are, there is a road that leads to your destiny...it's all in perfect divine order." - Irma Givens

To contact Irma email her at: IrmaSpeaks2me@gmail.com. Visit her website at: http://www.IrmaSpeaks.com.

No Permission to Run All Over My Life

No Permission to Run All Over My Life

By Irma Givens

So many times I have found myself wondering why I felt overwhelmed & filled with anxiety.  It wasn't until recently when someone I had been closed to for years was over visiting that I discovered why I had felt that way so many times before.

Do you allow people to exhaust you with their over-powering personality, the drama in their lives, the speed of their conversation, their desire to debate?  Or the inability to simply say "NO" or "STOP"?  I think we all have done this at some point in our lives.

There are people in our lives that take advantage of the opportunity to run throughout our life.  You know the old saying, If I give you an inch, you'll take a mile.  Well, that certainly applies here.  I was around this individual on a daily basis and didn't realize how draining the interactions were.  There were times when I got a headache or simply felt like I needed a break but, because we were so close, I never really put the pieces together until years down the road.

When it finally became clear to me, I began to reflect on our interactions and discovered time and time again, I simply needed to say no, put my foot down, or leave the room.  Instead, I listened with empathy, offered advice, talked until I was blue in the face, my head ached and I was ready for a nap.

I attribute my blindness to the fact that I love this individual and I desperately wanted to help.  However, the help that really needed to take place was not my place.  The individual needed to make a decision to change.  Many times others get us wrapped up in their mess & before long we are consumed with their stress and drama.

After saying, "NO", I felt a heavy load lifted.  I needed to set boundaries for this person and stick to them.  I discovered that it was OK to make the decision that it's not a good day for interaction.  Or allow the call to go to voice mail.

A dear friend of mine told me something that I'd like to leave with you today:

"When Helping You, Hurts Me, I Must Say No!"

Irma shares her practical approach to transformation as an author, speaker, “Very Vital Vision” workshop facilitator and life coach who offers programs, products and events to empower women to lead and succeed.  Irma helps you achieve your goals and dreams by empowering you to clarify your vision. Here’s to your success!  Visit: http://www.IrmaSpeaks.com. Email Irma at: IrmaSpeaks2me@gmail.com. Connect with Irma on Twitter @Irma_Givens, Linkedin and Facebook.

Kilpatrick's wife tells her side of scandal | The Detroit News

Wayne County | Kilpatrick's wife tells her side of scandal | The Detroit News

Don't Slam Another Door On Your Dream!

Choice, chance & change...you know what it's like where you are, you're unsure what it's like where the opportunity presents itself. Ask yourself are you completely satisfied staying put or will you step out on faith & explore this new opportunity believing that your path is guided by a light greater than yourself? If you're really sick & tired, don't slam another open door on yourself. ♥ Peace & Love ♥

How many times have you stood in the way of your own progress? I can tell you I've been guilty of this far too many times. It can be difficult to admit it and take responsibility for blocking your own blessings. It is easier to point fingers and pass the blame to others in our lives. But it's not until we are able to look ourselves square in the mirror and say it's me, it's my life and it's my decision to make that we can move into to action to explore life's possibilities.

Some of my best decisions were the hardest to make. You know the ones where you sit on the fence thinking of all the reasons why you need things to change and all the reasons to simply leave things as they are. It's the uncertainty and the negative self-talk that stops us dead in our tracks. We know what to expect where we are, it's our comfort zone. However, change is uncomfortable because we lose our sense of control. We don't have all the answers. We can't visualize what it will be like. We begin to allow our self-talk to identify all the things that could possibly go wrong. Then we second guess our selfs and often we slam the door on ourselves.

Don't slam another door on you and your dream. You are worthy...believe it! See yourself there...Visualize it! Decide to take a leap of faith and the net will appear.

Peace & Love,
Irma