Friday, September 23, 2011

No Permission to Run All Over My Life


No Permission to Run All Over My Life
By Irma Givens

So many times I have found myself wondering why I felt overwhelmed & filled with anxiety.  It wasn't until recently when someone I had been closed to for years was over visiting that I discovered why I had felt that way so many times before.

Do you allow people to exhaust you with their over-powering personality, the drama in their lives, the speed of their conversation, their desire to debate?  Or the inability to simply say "NO" or "STOP"?  I think we all have done this at some point in our lives.

There are people in our lives that take advantage of the opportunity to run throughout our life.  You know the old saying, If I give you an inch, you'll take a mile.  Well, that certainly applies here.  I was around this individual on a daily basis and didn't realize how draining the interactions were.  There were times when I got a headache or simply felt like I needed a break but, because we were so close, I never really put the pieces together until years down the road.

When it finally became clear to me, I began to reflect on our interactions and discovered time and time again, I simply needed to say no, put my foot down, or leave the room.  Instead, I listened with empathy, offered advice, talked until I was blue in the face, my head ached and I was ready for a nap.

I attribute my blindness to the fact that I love this individual and I desperately wanted to help.  However, the help that really needed to take place was not my place.  The individual needed to make a decision to change.  Many times others get us wrapped up in their mess & before long we are consumed with their stress and drama.

After saying, "NO", I felt a heavy load lifted.  I needed to set boundaries for this person and stick to them.  I discovered that it was OK to make the decision that it's not a good day for interaction.  Or allow the call to go to voice mail.

A dear friend of mine told me something that I'd like to leave with you today:

"When Helping You, Hurts Me, I Must Say No!"

Irma shares her practical approach to transformation as an author, speaker, “Very Vital Vision” workshop facilitator and life coach who offers programs, products and events to empower women to lead and succeed.  Irma helps you achieve your goals and dreams by empowering you to clarify your vision. Here’s to your success!  Visit: http://www.IrmaSpeaks.com. Email Irma at: IrmaSpeaks2me@gmail.com. Connect with Irma on Twitter @Irma_Givens, Linkedin and Facebook.